As we navigate life’s challenges, we often encounter moments that test our resilience and shape our journey (and even who we are).
Grief is a commonality we all face at one point in time or another.
- But grief comes in all shapes and forms.
- It’s not solely exclusive to the death of a loved one.
- It can also arise when rejection or estrangement happens or even with financial loss.
For instance, when those we love who have been by our side throughout life reject us, we can feel a deep sense of loss — and grief. But it’s something that we don’t often talk about… And up until now, I had no idea that there was a phrase labeling exactly what this is.
“Living loss” refers to the end of something that is very important to you, such as a relationship, a job, or financial stability.
Often, we don’t consciously see them as something to be grieved. But the truth is… we do grieve. So, let’s take a closer look at what all of this means and how you can navigate through a living loss.
Living Losses Meaning
Living loss refers to the profound sense of grief or loss that occurs without the death of a loved one.
Unlike the traditional concept of loss, which is often associated with the finality of death, living losses encompass a wide range of experiences where there is a significant change, absence, or end in a part of our lives, yet without the closure that death can sometimes bring.
This type of loss can be just as impactful — if not more so — because it involves navigating complex emotions and adjustments to changes that society does not always recognize or validate.
Living Losses Examples
Examples of living losses include, but are not limited to:
- End of a relationship: The breakup of a romantic relationship, divorce, or a significant friendship coming to an end. This can also include family estrangement or rejection.
- Health changes: Chronic illness, disability, or significant changes in physical or mental health may alter one’s way of life or day-to-day activities.
- Career shifts: A loss of a job, retirement, or a significant change in career path can impact one’s identity and daily life.
- Geographical moves: Relocating to a new place can lead to a loss of community, familiarity, and sense of belonging.
- Identity shifts: This refers to changes in personal identity or life stages, such as becoming a parent, empty nesting, or coming out, that redefine one’s sense of self and place in the world.
Related Article: Tips For Getting Over An Ended Relationship
What Are the 4 Types of Loss?
According to psychologists, loss can be categorized into four different buckets (However, loss can occur in more than just these ways as per the above).
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- Loss of Identity: This refers to the loss of a role or affiliation. For example, divorce means someone is no longer a wife or husband. Losing one’s job can also feel like a loss of identity.
- Loss of Safety: This includes loss of mental, emotional, and physical well-being. And this can occur because of past trauma. However, it may also arise due to housing instability, violence in relationships, infidelity, and more.
- Loss of Autonomy: This usually happens with progressive age or with illness. We may lose our ability to be independent, such as being able to drive or cook for ourselves.
- Loss of Expectations or Dreams: Dreams and hopes that go unfilled can also feel like an intense loss, such as infertility, being an overachiever, or someone whose career hasn’t turned out the way they planned.
How to Cope With Living Loss
No matter the reason for your loss, you feel it.
So, how can you begin moving past it? Here are some ways to start.
1. Give yourself permission to grieve.
Even though someone didn’t die, a part of you likely did.
Recognize that grieving a living loss is necessary, and allow yourself the space to experience these emotions without judgment. Know that your feelings of grief, confusion, anger, or sadness are valid responses to your loss. To get through it, you have to feel it.
2. Seek out support.
This might mean close friends or family members.
However, it can also mean reaching out to mental health professionals for support. Mental health professionals can provide strategies tailored to your needs and help you navigate the grieving process.
3. Create new routines.
As living loss often disrupts daily life, establishing new routines can provide a sense of structure and normalcy.
It can help you refocus and reset, finding joy once again and limiting reminders that evoke strong responses. At the same time, this shouldn’t be used as an avoidance tactic. Again, feeling those feelings is important.
4. Focus on looking after yourself.
Maintain regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep. Physical well-being significantly impacts emotional health. Thus, it pays to take care of your body so that your mind doesn’t suffer further.
On top of this, practices like meditation, yoga, or simply spending time in nature can help reduce stress and promote emotional balance.
Related Article: Feeling Depressed? Try These Self-Help Tips
5. Pursue new interests.
This may mean exploring a new career or discovering new hobbies. In turn, this can lead to new goals and ideas that help you move forward into the future.
6. Practice patience and self-compassion
Healing from a living loss is a process that doesn’t adhere to a fixed timeline.
Grief can also catch us unexpectedly and off-guard. Allow yourself the time you need to adjust and heal. Go forward with compassion for yourself. It’s okay to feel sad. Processing loss is different for everyone.
Finding Strength in Living Loss
Coping with living losses is a deeply personal process that varies from one individual to another.
What’s most important is finding what works best for you and remembering that it’s okay to seek help when you need it. With time, support, and self-care, it is possible to navigate the complexities of living losses and emerge with a renewed sense of strength and resilience.
Read Next: 5 Helpful Ways to Cope With The Loss of Your Loved One During The Holidays
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