In the vast universe of self-help and personal development, affirmations have emerged as a shining star.
Everywhere we look, we’re told to repeat, and the mind will believe. And for so many people, they do work!
Positive affirmations can help rewire negative thought patterns and boost confidence.
However, as with any tool, there is a ceiling as to how much they can truly help. While affirmations can offer a beacon of hope to many, there are many moments or circumstances where they might just fall short.
- So, what can you do?
- Why don’t affirmations always work?
In this article, we explore why this might be the case and what you can do instead.
Why Don’t Affirmations Work for Me?
Affirmations, while universally encouraged, are not one-size-fits-all solutions.
First, our deeply rooted beliefs, cultivated over years of experience, are not always easily swayed by repeated positive phrases. For someone who has faced constant criticism or rejection, a mere affirmation might not penetrate layers of self-doubt and negative self-perception.
Moreover, the efficacy of affirmations often depends on the individual’s state of receptiveness. If one speaks an affirmation while internally resisting or disbelieving it, the positive impact is likely diluted. Think of it as trying to plant a seed in unyielding ground; without proper conditions, the seed won’t flourish.
Additionally, some people might find certain affirmations too generic or disconnected from their personal experiences.
Affirmations that aren’t tailored to an individual’s unique journey or emotions can sometimes feel empty or inauthentic. In turn, this may lead you to simply “go through the motions” as opposed to making any positive change or steps forward.
Underlying mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, or trauma can also overshadow the positive effects of affirmations. In these cases, more comprehensive interventions or therapies may be necessary to address the root causes.
Furthermore, if you feel you are lying to yourself by repeating the affirmations and don’t truly believe them, it’s unlikely they will help. Alternatively, you may also be trying to do too much at once. True mental wellness comes from taking one step at a time!
So… then the question becomes: What can you do when affirmations fail to work for you?
What to Do When Affirmations Don’t Work?
Here’s the good news: Just because affirmations aren’t working for you, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Every person’s mental wellness journey is unique, thus not everything works for everyone.
Instead of affirmations, you can try…
1. Journaling
Sometimes, it helps to just let it all out instead of trying to mask things with positive statements.
This can also help you see things more clearly or in a new light. In turn, journaling can help you understand everything better and take on new approaches, introspection, or perspectives.
Related Article: 5 Best Guided Journals to Help You Grow Personally & Emotionally
2. Exercising
Exercising isn’t just for physical health; it can also improve our mental health too! Movement stimulates the release of endorphins, which help us feel good and reduce stress.
For example, if you’re feeling frustrated and angry at a colleague or your partner, instead of taking it out on them, try going for a walk instead. Think it through. Stimulate those endorphins! You might just come back with a new idea and a new perspective.
3. Talking to Someone
There is never any shame in turning to a professional when you need a little help.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and other approaches can help you find new ways to challenge negative thought patterns and overcome them.
Related Article: How You Can Gain Back Control with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
4. Meditating
No, you don’t have to do any insane technique or anything.
In fact, just sitting quietly, observing your thoughts is enough. Most of us don’t have moments of quiet in our lives. And even if we do, we tend to fill it with scrolling through our phones or checking our emails.
The mind was never made to be maxed on this many attention tugs at once. Thus, having moments of peace and quiet (such as “meditating”) can help foster mindfulness and even reduce anxiety.
5. Trying Different (and New!) Affirmations
We’re serious. Make your own, ones that resonate with you and mean something. If you don’t feel it, trash it. Again, journaling can help with this!
6. Quitting the Comparison Game
It’s human nature to compare, but overdoing it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. But here’s a twist: There’s more than enough to go around.
Instead, focus inward.
- How can you improve your own skillset?
- What are your strengths, and how can you use them to your advantage?
While the internet is great, the downside is that it often pulls us into others’ narratives, which we otherwise wouldn’t notice. There’s something to be said about “staying in your own lane,” especially when it comes to social media and comparison.
7. Taking the First Step
Another reason your affirmations might not be working is because you haven’t taken any action toward stepping into the person you want to become.
For example, if you’re saying, “You are a hardworking and ambitious go-getter,” but keep procrastinating, well, it’s probably time to work on that procrastination habit as opposed to repeating the same affirmation again and again.
This might mean setting timers for yourself, planning your calendar and following through, and other such tactics.
5 Powerful Morning Rituals to Eliminate Procrastination
Not Everyone Walks the Same Path
This is important to remember! Just because affirmations are working for your best friend or partner, it doesn’t mean they have to or will work for you.
Try something else. Or take a new spin with affirmations. Most importantly, don’t give up. There’s something out there for everyone; sometimes, it just takes some trial and error to figure out what that is.
Related Article: Top 25 Positive Affirmations to Start Your Week Off Right
Editor’s note: This article was originally published Oct 26, 2023 and has been updated to improve reader experience.
Photo by cottonbro studio
