As a child, I always looked forward to the time when I would be able to make my own decisions.
Now, every day, I make a million decisions that to some extent, influence my future, both long and short-term.
Sometimes it’s easy to decide which option to take. But in some cases, I am clueless, and a part of me wishes someone was making the decisions for me.
Throughout the course of my short life, I’ve had to learn and unlearn a lot of things, including principles that guide and shape my decisions and the way I view life in general.
Below are some of the principles that changed my life, which can change yours too.
5 Principles That Changed My Life – and Could Help You Too!
Putting yourself first is not selfish.
My people-pleasing years are behind me.
I used to do anything and everything to make the people around me happy, even when it didn’t make me happy.
- I said yes to plans when all I wanted to do was stay in and watch TV.
- I apologized when I had done nothing wrong.
- I went out of my way in the hopes that the people around me would like me.
Thankfully, I learnt that this is no way to live and self-care is not selfish.
Now, I put myself first.
I have healthy and firm boundaries in place which allow me to be kind to the people around me without jeopardizing my well-being. I am comfortable with saying ‘no’ without seeing the need to justify myself.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to take care of you first before you can give yourself to others.
You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup: Why You Need to Put Yourself First→
Learning and growth is a lifelong journey.
Looking back at my younger self, I chuckle because I thought at 25, I would have figured life out.
I would be actively climbing my dream career ladder, be with a loving partner, drive a good car, etc. I thought I would have it all.
Well, I soon discovered that learning is a lifelong journey, and there just won’t be a point where I will have gotten it all. I will always be learning, and the more I open up to learning and unlearning, the better.
I have moved around a lot and met a lot of people who have helped me learn something new.
I am always discovering things regarding topics I thought I had mastered, and most importantly, as I get older, I keep learning more about myself.
Success is subjective.
When you look at lists of people who are deemed ‘successful’, it is easy to see yourself as a failure simply because you don’t meet that criteria.
Success is subjective, and just because the person next to you doesn’t perceive what you have done as a success doesn’t mean it is not a success.
Understanding this principle changed my life because it helped me become more grateful and celebrate all my wins, even when they appear small. I am learning to embrace my success and not undermine my accomplishments.
Growth comes from discomfort.
The comfort zone is nice and cozy, but there is no growth there.
There is consistency. When we want growth and improvement, we need to accept the fact that we might have to do things differently and tap into the unknown.
We have to try things differently.
At first, this won’t be comfortable, and we might feel like we just need to go back to what we are familiar with, but the more we stay in that ‘discomfort zone’, the more we grow and bloom.
It takes time and patience, but we will enjoy the changes at the end of the day.
Be comfortable in your own skin.
This can be a particularly challenging one in today’s era of social media.
There are so many unrealistic expectations that we are expected to abide by.
We’ve all read stories of people who have experienced major mental breakdowns or even went on to make decisions that are life-threatening because they wanted to meet social media expectations.
I’ve learnt that no one is perfect and most of the stuff online is not real. (Think filters and good lighting.)
I have learned and accepted that there is only one me, and I am good enough as I am. I stopped chasing trends, figured out what I liked, and stuck with that.
In some cases, this might mean cutting down on social media use, but it is definitely worth it.
6 Hopeful Happiness Habits for a Fulfilling Life→
All You Need to Know
We are in charge of our own happiness. Yes, the people and circumstances around us do contribute, but at the end of the day, we have the power to change our perspective and mindset.
The principles and philosophies that guide you and your decision-making should prioritize you and your overall well-being. Before making the people around you happy, ask yourself if you are happy.
This simple concept has changed my life so far – and I keep working on it.
“Life is short and the older you get, the more you feel it. Indeed, the shorter it is. People lose their capacity to walk, run, travel, think, and experience life. I realize how important it is to use the time I have.” — Viggo Mortensen
Photo by Garon Piceli
