Most of us aren’t using our commute for anything particularly productive.
Maybe you’re scrolling through your phone, zoning out to a podcast, or mentally rehearsing that awkward conversation you’ve been avoiding. And hey, no judgment. Commutes can feel like dead time, something to just get through before the real day begins.
But what if those 20, 30, or 45 minutes could actually change how you show up in the world?
Emotional intelligence—the ability to understand and manage your own emotions while also tuning into the emotions of others—is one of the most valuable skills you can develop. It affects your relationships, your career, your stress levels, and, well, your overall quality of life.
But the hard part is that it takes conscious effort and practice.
Building Emotional Intelligence for 5 Minutes a Day
However, instead of overhauling your entire routine or trying to find hours you simply don’t have, you can build emotional intelligence in small, consistent doses.
A simple five minutes a day provides ample practice time! And your commute? It’s the perfect opportunity to slot those five minutes into your schedule.
The following five exercises are simple, specific, and add up faster than you’d think. Plus, they can be done almost anywhere. So, let’s get started.
Related Article: What’s Your EQ? 7 Signs of Emotional Intelligence & 5 Ways to Improve Yours
5-Minute Emotional Intelligence Exercises for Your Daily Commute
1. Check Your Emotions & Observe.
Most of us move through our days without ever pausing to ask ourselves how we’re actually feeling. We react, rather than observe. We rush through our days without reflection.
But emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness, and self-awareness starts with noticing.
So, at the beginning of your commute, take a moment to check in with yourself.
- Ask: “What am I feeling right now?”
- Then try to name it as specifically as possible.
An nope, “Fine” doesn’t count. Neither does “stressed” or “tired”—at least not without digging a little deeper.
- Are you anxious about a meeting later?
- Irritated because of something that happened this morning?
- Quietly excited about the weekend?
- Sad for reasons you can’t quite pinpoint?
These small details are important.
And try to take note without judgment here. The goal is simply to notice. Put a name to the emotion, acknowledge it’s there, and let it exist without immediately trying to push it away.
Yes, this might feel awkward at first. You might realize you have no idea what you’re feeling, and that’s okay, too. Over time, you’ll start catching your emotions earlier—before they spiral into reactions you regret. This can be a significant hurdle for many, especially in relationship communication.
2. The Five-Minute Perspective Exercise.
This one might feel a little uncomfortable—and that’s exactly the point.
Think of a recent disagreement you had with someone. It doesn’t have to be a big blow-up; even a small friction works. Maybe you and a coworker saw a situation completely differently, or you and your partner got snippy about something that seemed minor.
Now here’s the challenge: Spend five minutes making their case.
And really go for it. Argue their side as if you fully believed it. Say it out loud or jot it down—whatever helps you commit.
- What were their reasons?
- What might they have been feeling in that moment?
- What valid points were they making that you may have brushed past because you were too busy defending your own position?
- If a neutral third party heard their argument, what would make it sound reasonable?
Your brain will want to sneak in counterarguments or little jabs. But stick to being their advocate. This forces you out of your own head.
Ultimately, when we’re in a disagreement, our ego has a tight grip on the steering wheel.
This exercise loosens that grip. It builds the kind of empathy that actually helps resolve conflicts—not just smooth them over temporarily.
You might even find that by the end of five minutes, you understand where they were coming from in a way you didn’t before. And this understanding can change how you approach the next conversation.
At the end of the day, it’s easy to empathize with people who agree with you. The real skill is empathizing with people who don’t.
3. The Trigger Audit.
We all have triggers—those situations, comments, or behaviors that send us from zero to reactive in seconds. The problem is that most of us don’t know what they are until we’re already in the middle of one, reacting and feeling heated.
So, this exercise is about getting curious before that happens!
Think back over the past day or two. Was there a moment when your emotions spiked unexpectedly? Maybe you snapped at someone, felt a wave of defensiveness, or noticed your chest tighten with anxiety.
Try to pinpoint what happened right before that reaction.
- What was said?
- What was the context?
- Was it a specific word, tone, or topic?
- Did it remind you of something from your past?
Now sit with it for a minute.
Why do you think that particular thing got under your skin?
There’s usually a deeper need or fear underneath—something about feeling disrespected, unseen, out of control, or not good enough.
You don’t have to solve it right now. The point is simply to start connecting the dots between external events and your internal responses.
- Once you can see your triggers clearly, they lose some of their power.
- You start to catch yourself before the reaction takes over.
From there, self-regulation is about understanding them well enough to choose how you respond. Often, giving yourself time to pause and choose how you react works wonders. But you have to, again, have the awareness to pause and know how you’re feeling.
4. The Gratitude Scan.
Okay, I know—gratitude practices are everywhere these days. But it’s important. And this one is a little different…
Instead of listing random things you’re grateful for, this exercise focuses on people. Specifically, on noticing the positive impact others have had on you recently.
Go over the last 24 hours.
Who did something—big or small—that made your life a little easier or better?
Maybe a coworker covered for you, a barista remembered your order, or your partner took care of something you forgot about. Maybe a friend just sent a funny meme at the right moment.
Now go a step further:
- Why did that matter to you?
- What need did it meet?
- Connection, support, feeling seen, a moment of lightness?
This practice trains your brain to notice the good in others, which naturally strengthens your relationships. It also builds appreciation—something that’s easy to lose when you’re caught up in your own stress. And it counteracts any bitterness, setting up the stage for positivity in all of your interactions.
Bonus points if you actually tell one of those people what they did and why it mattered. The truth is that this kind of specific, genuine appreciation is rare, and so, people often remember it.
5. The Active Listening Practice.
Most of us think we’re good listeners. Most of us are wrong (me included at times!).
Real listening—the kind that builds trust, deepens relationships, and actually makes people feel heard—is surprisingly rare. We’re usually too busy thinking about what we’re going to say next, mentally judging, or just waiting for our turn to talk.
So, this exercise helps you practice the skill when the stakes are low. As such, it becomes second nature when they’re not.
If you’re commuting with someone else—a carpool buddy, a partner, even a chatty stranger—use five minutes to practice truly listening.
That means:
- no interrupting
- no mentally rehearsing your response
- no checking your phone
Just take in what they’re saying.
Pay attention to more than their words.
- What’s their tone like?
- What emotions might be underneath what they’re sharing?
- What do they seem to really be communicating, even if they’re not saying it directly?
When they pause, resist the urge to jump in immediately. Instead, reflect back on what you heard.
This could be saying something like:
“It sounds like that situation was really frustrating for you,” or
“So you’re feeling torn about what to do next?”
You’re not solving anything or offering advice—you’re just showing them you actually heard them.
Commuting solo? You can still practice. Listen to a podcast, talk radio, or even a voicemail from a friend. Instead of passively letting it wash over you, actively engage.
- What is this person really trying to say?
- What emotions are coming through?
- How would you reflect that back if you were in conversation with them?
At the end of the day, active listening changes everything. It makes people feel valued. It helps you catch things you’d normally miss. Ultimately, being heard is one of the deepest human needs. And so learning to offer that gift is a superpower!
Related Article: Active Listening: What Is It & 7 Techniques to Improve Your Skills
Small Moments, Big Shifts
Building emotional intelligence just requires one small step at a time. You simply need a few minutes and a willingness to pay attention!
Plus, your commute is already happening. You might as well use it.
Start with one of these exercises and stick with it for a week. Notice what shifts—in how you feel, how you react, and how your interactions start to change. Then add another.
Over time, you’ll grow, you’ll learn, and become the best version of you!
Read Next: Developing Emotional Intelligence in a World That Constantly Triggers You
