At the root of every self-critical thought lies fear.
Fear of judgment often stops us from sharing our true selves with others.
We are our own worst critics.
We automatically assume that others will judge us harshly too.
Let’s not forget that regardless of our perceived identities, or outward accomplishments we’re all humans with our own biases, fears, and insecurities.
Things don’t always go our way.
Sometimes, we stumble. We make mistakes. We deny reality.
All of these are parts of the human experience. However, we inflict the most damage on ourselves when we let ourselves get caught in self-defeating thoughts.
- We try to pre-meditate the outcomes of relationships to avoid having our hearts broken.
- We end up building walls around our hearts to not allow anyone to come too close to us.
While at first, it may seem like you’re protecting yourself from getting hurt, these walls also block the flow of love and compassion. They prevent you from experiencing the profoundness of genuine connections.
Building Up Your Walls
It’s easy to become trapped behind your assumptions about what other people may think about you.
After all, these fears didn’t just appear out of nowhere. You’ve been hurt before. You’ve faced difficult situations that threw you off balance.
And that’s why you’ve built these walls to reduce the risk of being hurt again.
We worry that if we show our vulnerable side, people will stop liking us.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
The fear of vulnerability actually leaves us feeling isolated.
Vulnerability Can Be Scary, But So Worthwhile
The idea of putting yourself in a position where you can be judged or rejected is incredibly daunting. Your mind comes up with countless thoughts about what could go wrong:
- “No one can understand what I’m going through”
- “They’ll make fun of me”
- “My loved ones will think I’m weak and incapable of dealing with challenges”
- “They’ll abandon me”
- “It will lead to conflicts”
However, vulnerability is key to true human connection.
Vulnerability allows us to break down the walls of emotional defenses and connect to others more authentically.
Just like you feel scared of being hurt, and have your fears, flaws, and moments of weakness, others have them too.
Letting others see you as you truly are, including the messy parts, strengthens your connection with others.
Start By Being Vulnerable With Yourself
You must learn to be vulnerable with yourself first.
It’s not easy to accept every aspect of yourself, including your insecurities and imperfections. But it’s the only way you can gain the confidence to share those parts with others.
Self-awareness allows you to uncover the root cause of your fear of vulnerability.
When you’re honest with your feelings and give yourself the space for emotional release, you can share your thoughts in intentional ways.
Reflecting and Building Self-Awareness
Give yourself a lot of grace during this process.
As you sit down to reflect and uncover your deepest emotions, you may feel overwhelmed. But once you brave the storms of these intense emotions, you will find yourself feeling stronger and you’ll begin to find more clarity in your life.
You will build greater confidence in your ability to handle your emotions, and find the courage to share your thoughts, struggles, and needs with the people you care about most.
As a result, you’ll start to see vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness.
Embrace the power of vulnerability to be fully present in your relationships and receive unconditional love from others.
You deserve to be seen, loved, and accepted for who you are.
Throwback to 2024’s March Motivational Message: Avoiding Burnout
Amid the frantic pace of life, we find ourselves struggling with the constant urge to do more and be more.
We hold ourselves to an impossible standard of productivity.
Our inner critic doesn’t make it any easier. Self-doubt creeps in and you try to work extra hard to prove your inner critic wrong. Regardless of what you achieve, it keeps telling you what you do is not enough.
There is simply no winning.
It’s Okay to Take a Break!
We spend more than 30 years of our lives working. Continuing to power through and overexerting ourselves at work, at home, in our personal lives is not sustainable.
We tell ourselves that we can take a break only after we achieve specific milestones.
We believe in unhelpful thoughts like “I will never find a better job”, “I have no other option”, and “I can’t afford to take a break”.
You have to stay open to the idea that it is indeed possible to find a way to maintain a sustainable balance.
Let go of beliefs that keep you stuck. There is a way out. You have to keep looking for opportunities that enable you to secure the things you need while also prioritizing your well-being.
It Can Be Hard to Break Your Patterns
When you’ve been on overdrive for so long, even taking a break feels weird. You find yourself feeling restless instead of being relaxed. You struggle with the urge to catch up on work after your break.
Burnout is real.
Listen to your body. As soon as you start noticing signs of burnout, take a step back and give yourself time to recover.
The symptoms of burnout typically include fatigue, feeling a sense of dread, having trouble falling asleep, forgetfulness, irritability, and getting sick more often.
You Need a Break!
Breaks aren’t optional. You need them.
If you don’t choose to make time for breaks, you will be forced to make time to recover from serious health conditions.
Preventing Burnout: 5 Small Ways to Boost Your Energy→
Before you go out into the world to take care of everyone and everything else, allow yourself to catch your breath first.
Take care of your body, mind, and soul.
Go back to the basics. Make your diet healthier, get more sleep, include at least ten minutes of exercise in your daily routine, and remind yourself to drink more water throughout the day.
What’s Causing Your Stress?
Identify the areas in your life that cause you the most stress. Set realistic expectations by keeping in mind your priorities, and the resources you have.
There is only so much you can do in a day!
Find your limit before burnout sneaks up on you and causes irreparable damage to your health. Taking a few days off on a regular basis certainly beats the alternative of spending months in recovery.
It is counterproductive to power through when you’re already spread thin. The earlier you recognize the signs of burnout, the quicker you’ll be able to recover.
Pace yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy life as you go.
Remember, you don’t always need to be achieving something. Resist the pressure for constant improvement.
Throwback – Motivational Message – March 2023
Life is always moving.
A lot of changes happen in our lives, often unexpectedly, that leave us feeling baffled.
As we get busy dealing with those changes, staying afloat, and supporting the people around us, we start to lose sight of what we really want.
And as a result, we go through our lives feeling lost and empty.
Our lives are unfolding in the present. If you want to live a more fulfilling life, you have to pay attention to your everyday behaviors.
- What are you choosing to spend your time on in the present?
- Are you giving your attention to the things that can take you closer to where you want to go?
The theme for March 2023 – Live Intentionally
This month, commit to living life more intentionally.
Make a list of all the habits, and goals you want to work towards this month.
Break it down into smaller actions you can take every day.
Be intentional with how you start your day. A clear vision will guide what you give your attention to throughout the day.
Your attention is powerful. Take control of your attention and bring more order to your life.
Make a conscious effort to do more of the things that you know are good for you.
- You don’t have to be perfect at everything you do.
- You just have to try to move in the right direction.
Every day, there will be many things to distract you from your most important goals:
- other people’s actions
- the news
- painful old memories
- unexpected challenges
If you are not careful, you may end up directing your energy to habits that sabotage your happiness, such as passively engaging in negative thinking or downplaying your achievements.
Also, when we are not being true to ourselves, we tend to look outside for validation and approval. We compare ourselves to others and blindly follow other people.
Remind yourself that the uncomfortable feelings will not last forever.
Notice how external triggers are affecting your thoughts and feelings.
Your power lies in awareness.
Our Monthly Message – March: Be More Intentional
Unless you know what’s actually happening, you won’t be able to make the necessary changes and pursue the life you’ve envisioned.
Remove the noise. Reclaim your power.
Photo by cottonbro studio
