After meeting someone we think we might be interested in being in a relationship with, dating is usually the next step.
Getting to know someone is probably one of the best parts of meeting new people. We don’t know what to expect and the element of surprise makes the dating phase even more exciting.
As we get to know the other person, we also get to know ourselves more. Dating allows us to reevaluate our expectations, preferences, values, and desires. This is probably one of the reasons why dating is essential before two people decide to be in a relationship.
With that in mind, the dating period is also something we need to approach from an objective perspective and without any preconceived expectations. This way, we are able to clearly see if the other person is a good fit for us or not.
Most of us have had terrible experiences within relationships, and when we look back, we notice that the signs were there, but we simply ignored them.
To help you avoid future encounters in terms of relationships, we compiled this list of red and green flags that you should look out for when dating. We hope this helps you evaluate your dating experience from a different lens!
4 Green Flags to Watch For When Dating
✅They respect your boundaries.
This is a big green flag in all kinds of relationships.
When you communicate that you’re not comfortable with something, and the other person hears and respects that without you having to mention it twice, that is an excellent sign.
Sometimes our boundaries are subtle. For instance, there are some topics we don’t want to talk about and tend to avoid when they come up in conversations. If your date is able to notice this and not push for you to go against your will, that is a big green flag.
✅They make time for you.
Most of us have extremely busy schedules, and we barely have time for ourselves and the things we enjoy doing.
If someone is able to make time for you in their busy day, then you clearly mean something to them.
✅They make you feel safe.
This is an important aspect of relationships that should never be ignored.
If this person makes you feel safe, both emotionally and physically, this is a good sign. You probably feel encouraged to share things with them, open up and be vulnerable, and most importantly, be your true self when they are around.
✅They tell their circle about you.
Depending on how long you’ve dated, knowing that the person you could potentially be in a relationship with has told their close friends about you can be a good thing.
It shows that they are happy to have you in their life and they see a future with you.
Red Flags to Never Tolerate When Dating
❌Poor listening skills.
Most of us have met some people who are just unable to listen.
You have to tell them the same thing over and over, not because they forgot, but because they never listened. If they are unable to listen during the dating phase, they’re unlikely to suddenly change and start listening when you’re in a relationship.
❌They barely ask any questions.
The dating phase is there for both parties to get to know each other.
And asking questions is undoubtedly one of the best ways to get someone to open up and talk about themselves.
If you notice that your date never asks you any questions, that might be concerning. You might find that a large portion of the conversation ends up focusing on them, allowing you to learn more about them while they know nothing about you.
While this could come down to nervousness (Some people just get carried away and start saying anything.), neurodiversity or even lack of experience, it could also point to the person being self-absorbed and/or not self-aware.
❌They are aggressive.
Seemingly small signs of aggression such as pushing you, interrupting loudly or talking over you or slamming doors in an argument can be easily brushed off.
However, they shouldn’t. No level of aggression or violence should be tolerated or ignored – especially early on. Always listen to your gut instincts and protect yourself.
❌They blame everyone else.
If you meet someone who finds a way to blame everyone around them, that could be a concerning trait.
When dating, pay attention to how the other person describes their previous relationships and interactions with other people.
If your date speaks of themselves as a saint who is always wronged by those around them, you might be potentially dealing with a problematic individual who never takes accountability for their own decisions or how they treat other people.
Red & Green Flags to Look Out For When Dating
As you probably noted, green flags are the positive indicators most of us desire in a relationship.
Their presence gives us the go-ahead to proceed with the relationship.
On the other hand, the red flags scream NO. Sometimes we overlook the red flags because we’re distracted by some of the green flags or simply because we’re desperate to be in a relationship.
The main aim is to ensure that you are well aware of the things you want and those you never want to tolerate.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published Dec 12, 2022 and has been updated to improve reader experience.
Photo by cottonbro studio
