Have you ever wondered why some individuals seem to navigate life’s challenges with unwavering strength and optimism while others struggle to cope with adversity?
Some seem to fly through life, resilient in the face of hurdles.
Meanwhile, others struggle to bounce back after hardship.
Maybe you fall in the latter here. And that’s okay. The good news is that you’re probably reading this article to figure out why this is the case.
Could the key to unlocking the secrets of resilience lie in the experiences and support we receive during childhood?
Whether you are a parent, educator, or simply someone who is curious about the origins of resilience and their own personal growth, in this article, we take a closer look at the connections between childhood and resiliency.
Is there scientific evidence supporting this?
What should you know?
Let’s dive in!
What is a High Level of Resilience?
A high level of resilience refers to an individual’s exceptional ability to adapt, recover, and grow in the face of adversity, trauma, or significant sources of stress.
People who possess a high level of resilience demonstrate a remarkable capacity to bounce back from setbacks, maintain their mental well-being, and continue to function effectively despite encountering difficult circumstances.
Resilient individuals often exhibit a combination of psychological traits, coping mechanisms, and problem-solving skills that enable them to navigate life’s challenges with strength and determination, including:
- Having a positive outlook
- Having a strong sense of self-efficacy
- Having the ability to find meaning and purpose in the face of hardship
Additionally, highly resilient people often have a robust support system and the capacity to seek help when needed. In turn, this further bolsters their ability to overcome obstacles and thrive in the face of adversity.
How is Resilience Related to Childhood Trauma?
The experiences we face during our formative years can significantly impact our ability to cope with challenges later in life.
Research has shown that individuals who have experienced childhood trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or significant loss, are more likely to struggle with developing resilience.
Trauma experienced during childhood can disrupt the development of:
- crucial coping skills
- self-esteem
- the ability to form healthy relationships
Children who grow up in unstable or abusive environments may internalize negative beliefs about themselves and the world around them, making it more challenging to develop the psychological resources necessary for resilience.
However, it is important to note that while childhood trauma can increase the risk of difficulties in building resilience, it does not determine an individual’s fate.
Many people who have experienced childhood trauma go on to develop high levels of resilience, often through a combination of:
- supportive relationships
- therapy
- and personal growth
Factors such as secure attachments with caregivers, access to mental health resources, and the presence of positive role models can help mitigate the impact of childhood trauma and foster the development of resilience.
For example, further research shows that parental support can play a key role in the development of resiliency.
Researchers determined that parents can instill higher levels of resilience in their children by promoting hope and encouraging healthy coping styles or strategies. Oftentimes, this may come down to setting the right example.
And inevitably, this doesn’t always happen. It’s also worth noting that resiliency occurs on a spectrum. Some individuals may fall somewhere in the middle, meaning they don’t necessarily have high resiliency, but neither do they have low resiliency.
How Resilient Are You?
Some indicators of low resiliency include:
- Difficulty coping with change or uncertainty
- Struggling to bounce back from setbacks or failures
- Feeling overwhelmed by minor stressors
- Engaging in negative self-talk or self-blame
- Avoiding challenges or new experiences
- Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships
- Struggling to regulate emotions, such as anger or anxiety
- Engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or self-harm
- Lack of self-confidence or self-esteem
- Struggling to adapt to new situations or environments
- Experiencing persistent feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
- Difficulty problem-solving or finding alternative solutions
- Lack of social support or connection with others
Meanwhile, indicators of high resiliency include:
- Ability to adapt well to change and uncertainty
- Bouncing back quickly from setbacks or failures
- Maintaining composure and focus under pressure
- Engaging in positive self-talk and self-reflection
- Embracing challenges and new experiences
- Building and maintaining healthy relationships
- Effectively regulating emotions, such as anger or anxiety
- Using healthy coping mechanisms, such as exercise or mindfulness
- Possessing a strong sense of self-confidence and self-esteem
- Finding meaning and purpose in life, even during difficult times
- Adapting easily to new situations or environments
- Maintaining a sense of hope and optimism
5 Ways You Can Build Your Resilience as an Adult
At the Harvard University Center on the Developing Child, researchers state,
“The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult. These relationships provide the personalized responsiveness, scaffolding, and protection that buffer children from developmental disruption.”
But just because you didn’t get this during childhood, it doesn’t mean you can’t build that resiliency muscle in adulthood.
So, how can you build your resilience starting today?
1. Develop a Support System
Developing a strong support system is essential to build your resilience, particularly if you lacked a supportive network growing up. To cultivate a robust support system in adulthood, start by identifying and reaching out to positive relationships in your life.
- Join clubs, attend workshops, or volunteer in your community to make new connections proactively.
- Seek out mentors and practice vulnerability in your relationships to deepen bonds.
And remember to set healthy boundaries and consider seeking professional support to guide you in building meaningful connections. By nurturing genuine, supportive relationships, you’ll create a network of people who can uplift and encourage you during challenging times, ultimately enhancing your overall resilience.
2. Practice Self-Care
No, this isn’t just about taking a warm bath (although it can be!). Self-care has become a confusing topic in the world of mental health. The truth is that self-care is different for everyone simply because we are all unique individuals.
This means that self-care can look very different from person to person. For some, it might mean journaling, meditating, warm baths, and more. For others, it might mean moving their body, having a shower, getting ready for the day, getting sun, and more.
The key is to find what works for you.
It’s further important to consider that voice in the back of your mind.
What do you say to yourself when you’re alone? Try practicing optimism and positivity when things get rough.
Ask yourself:
- How can this be framed in a positive light?
- What can I take away from this?
- What positive attributes did I show in this situation?
3. Practice a Growth Mindset
Instead of seeing challenges as roadblocks, view them as exciting opportunities for learning and personal development. This is the power of a growth mindset.
When faced with setbacks, don’t let them define you; instead, use them as stepping stones to success to build your resilience.
Cultivate a curiosity for new experiences and a passion for continuous improvement. Every mistake is a chance to grow, and every obstacle is an invitation to become a better version of yourself.
With a growth mindset as your superpower, you’ll be unstoppable in the face of adversity, ready to take on the world with a smile and a determined spirit!
4. Find What You Can Learn from Failures or Setbacks
Focus less on what went wrong and try to uncover the lesson in each challenge or setback.
What can you take away that is positive and can help you in the future?
Ask yourself, “What can I do differently next time?” or “How can I grow from this experience?” By approaching failures with a curious and open mind, you’ll transform them into powerful catalysts for personal growth and success.
The most resilient individuals are those who fearlessly face their setbacks head-on, armed with a determination to learn, adapt, and come back stronger than ever before!
Related Article: 9 Helpful Ways To Deal With Setbacks And Failures
5. Learn to “Let Go”
Learning to release what no longer serves you is a superpower that will transform your life.
Whether it’s a past mistake, a toxic relationship, or a limiting belief, holding on to these burdens only weighs you down.
To learn to let go, start by:
- acknowledging and accepting your feelings
- practicing reframing your thoughts
- focusing on the present moment
- engaging in self-care activities that bring you joy and peace
But keep in mind that letting go is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace change. Like anything, it’s a skill that requires practice.
Related Article: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger – 4 Ways to Build Resilience
Build Your Resilience: Grow Your Resiliency Muscle (It’s Possible!)
Building resilience is a transformative journey that empowers you to navigate life’s challenges with unwavering strength and grace.
By cultivating a supportive network, embracing a growth mindset, learning from setbacks, and mastering the art of letting go, you’ll develop an unbreakable spirit that can weather any storm.
After all, our childhood does define us to some extent, but it doesn’t always determine the next step we take.
We can:
- change our path through our actions and behaviors
- create bonds that last
- rise from unsupportive childhoods
- and cultivate a community of support in adulthood
We can learn to redefine ourselves. Take this as your sign to do just that.
Read Next: Emotional Resilience: How to Start Building Your Ability to Adapt
Photo by Yan Krukau
