115 Funny Friendship Quotes: Hilarious Humor for Your Best Friend

Friends laughing together while sitting outside.

Friendship is one of the best things in life. And one of the best things to do with friends is to laugh together until you barely can’t breathe.

So in today’s post I’d like to share 115 of the best, silliest and most relatable funny friendship quotes.

Send one of a few of them in a message to your best friend or to the group chat for your friends. Or write one of them on a birthday card or a get well card.

I hope these quotes will help you and your friends to laugh, relieve some of life’s stress together and share a happy moment today.

Funny Friendship Quotes for Laughs and Stress Relief Together

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK, then it’s you.”
– Rita Mae Brown

“My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.”
– Matt Schucker

“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.”
– Marlene Dietrich

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
– Linda Grayson

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”
– Jane Austen

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places.”
– Mark Twain

“A good friend will always stab you in the front.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.”
– Robert Brault

“She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.”
– Cher (from the movie Clueless)

“One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.”
– Marcelene Cox

“‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.”
– Charles Lamb

“Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’”
– C.S. Lewis

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
– Elbert Hubbard

“Which of all my important nothings shall I tell you first?”
– Jane Austen

“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.”
– Arnold H. Glasgow

“You’re mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret: Some of the best people are.”
– Lewis Carroll

“True friends are like diamonds: bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.”
– Nicole Richie

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
– Oprah Winfrey

“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.”
– Mark Twain

Hilarious Friendship Quotes for Your Friends

“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.”
– Jay McInerney

“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.”
– Dorothy Parker

“You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”
– Elizabeth Taylor

“Thank you for still being my friend, despite the fact that you are completely aware of every terrifying, raunchy, explicit detail of my life.”
– Unknown

“I’ll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends — and my friends are hilarious.”
– Issa Rae

“Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable.”
– Jean de La Fontaine

“The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.”
– Aaron Machado

“You can always tell a real friend: When you’ve made a fool of yourself, he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”
– Laurence J. Peter

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”
– Bette Midler

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
– Bernard Meltzer

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you are able to be stupid with them.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’”
– A.A. Milne

“I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. You’re my friend, you literally signed up for this.”
– Unknown

“Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.”
– Samuel Butler

“‘Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.”
– Cookie Monster

“Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient, come all the same.”
– Arthur Conan Doyle

“Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass, and it goes to pieces.”
– Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Funny Friendship Quotes for Your Best Friend

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’”
– Groucho Marx

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”
– Euripides

“Everyone is a complicated human being, and everyone is strong and weak and funny and scared.”
– Laverne Cox

“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.”
– Bill Watterson

“True friends fiercely debate issues and still walk away as friends.”
– Frank Sonnenberg

“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”
– Sarah Dessen

“Best friend isn’t a person; it’s a tier.”
– Mindy Kaling

“Let us be elegant or die!”
– Louisa May Alcott

“Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.”
– Henry Brooks Adams

“Never contract friendship with a man that is not better than thyself.”
– Confucius

“Eros will have naked bodies; friendship naked personalities.”
– C.S. Lewis

“She discovered with great delight that one does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.”
– Gabriel García Márquez

“Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship; and pass the rosy wine.”
– Charles Dickens

“To like and dislike the same things, that is what makes a solid friendship.”
– Sallust

“Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

“Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.”
– Anna Deavere Smith

“She was the kind of person who never gave you enough time to miss her.”
– Zadie Smith

“Love is friendship that has caught fire.”
– Ann Landers

“All you need to do to be my friend is be like me.”
– Taylor Swift

“A true friend is forever a friend.”
– George MacDonald

“True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.”
– Unknown

“No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether depraved.”
– Thomas Carlyle

Meaningful Friendship Quotes With a Pinch of Humor

“It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.”
– Mignon McLaughlin

“Good times and crazy friends make the best memories.”
– Unknown

“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.”
– Patrick (from the SpongeBob SquarePants)

“Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they’ll never be seen again.”
– Unknown

“Talk between women friends is always therapy.”
– Jayne Anne Phillips

“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.”
– Robert Brault

“A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”
– Lois Wyse

“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”
– Donna Roberts

“Do you think I’m crazy? You should see me with my best friend.”
– Unknown

“A friend to all is a friend to none.”
– Aristotle

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.”
– Charles Caleb Colton

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.”
– Charles R. Swindoll

“Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.”
– Washington Irving

“The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.”
– Hubert H. Humphrey

“Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected.”
– C.J. Langenhoven

“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.”
– Jim Henson

“The best mirror is an old friend.”
– George Herbert

“I was an innocent being once. Then my best friend came along.”
– Unknown

Funny Friendship Quotes and Sayings

“A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.”
– Jim Hayes

“I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head. But like in the leg or something.”
– Unknown

“A best friend is someone who, when they don’t understand, they still understand.”
– Nancy Werlin

“Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”
– Unknown

“One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.”
– George Carlin

“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”
– Unknown

“Every tall girl needs a short best friend.”
– Unknown

“Strangers think I’m quiet. My friends think I’m outgoing. My best friends know that I’m completely insane!”
– Unknown

“We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much of your darkest secrets.”
– Sandra Shea

“Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.”
– Unknown

“We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence according to our moms.”
– Alice

“You drink too much. Cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.”
– Unknown

“Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“Finding friends with the same mental disorder: priceless.”
– Unknown

“You have questionable ideas for weekly adventures. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.”
– Debbie Moore

“Friends offer free therapy.”
– Unknown

“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.”
– Unknown

“There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family.”
– Jay Shetty

“I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.”
– Michael Scott (from the TV-show The Office)

“Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.”
– Karen (from the movie Mean Girls)

Short Funny Friendship Quotes

“Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.”
– Robert Bloch

“A day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of honey left inside.”
– Winnie the Pooh

“Work made us colleagues, but our potty mouths and inappropriate conversations made us friends.”
– Unknown

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”
– Helen Keller

“You don’t have to be crazy to work here, we’ll train you.”
– Unknown

“Happiness is having a coworker who becomes a gossipy friend.”
– Anna Davis

“We live so far apart because the world just isn’t ready for that much awesomeness.”
– Unknown

“You are my favorite notification. Always.”
– Sandra Shea

“Don’t you dare type at me in that tone of voice.”
– Fay Collins

“Some people are worth melting for.”
– Olaf

“I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, ‘I love my best friend, Evan!’”
– Seth (from the movie Superbad)

“I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack, But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own.”
– Alan (from the movie The Hangover)

“She’s my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you.”
– Joey (from the TV-show Friends)

“In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.”
– Unknown

“The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.”
– Gwyneth Paltrow

“Me and my best friends can communicate with just facial expressions.”
– Unknown

“I wish all the homes of my friends were connected to mine through a secret tunnel.”
– Sandra Shea

“If you have one friend who understands you on your level of crazy… one friend is all you will ever need.”
– Unknown

“We’ll be the old ladies causing all kinds of trouble in the nursing home.”
– Sarah Kelly

“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.”
– Irish Proverb

“I never face Monday morning blues because of colleagues like you.”
– Unknown

“A messy house is a must – it separates your true friends from other friends. Real friends are there to visit you, not your house!”
– Jennifer Wilson

“I love that our long-distance relationship can survive solely on sending each other picture messages.”
– Unknown

“Never let your friends be lonely, disturb them annoyingly all the time.”
– Anna Davis

“Friends offer free half baked ideas, plenty of wine and a listening ear.”
– Unknown

“Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.”
– Christy Evans

Want more timeless inspiration about friendship? Then  have a look at these short friendship quotes, the many meaningful friendship quotes in this post and you can also find plenty of gems in this post with Valentine’s Day quotes for friends.

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