When we were young, we couldn’t wait till we became adults so we could enjoy the freedom and access that comes with it. We looked forward to being able to do whatever we wanted without any limitations from anyone.
I mean, what’s not to like in a potential future where you can do anything you want and have the capacity to earn the needed funds to do so right?
But, as the reality of ‘adulting’ creeps in, we realize that it is an overwhelming transition.
Adulting: the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks. – Dictionary.com
The freedom we were looking forward to comes with responsibilities and challenges. These increase the possibility of many people becoming anxious about growing up and being responsible for ourselves.
And while this phenomena is usually attributed to people transitioning from their late teens to early twenties, adulting anxiety can apply to anyone experiencing a change from being more sheltered or dependent to being independent and responsible for themselves.
If you find yourself feeling like you’re not prepared for what your age has in store for you, you are definitely not alone.
So many people feel like they are not (or shouldn’t be) adults despite their age due to various factors. Some of the common reasons behind adulting anxiety include:
- Financial responsibilities
- Family expectations
- Career pressures and expectations
- Work-life balance
- Social expectations
- Mental health
- Relationships
- Loneliness
- Health
- Time management
- Uncertainty of the future
- Fear of failure
5 Effective Ways to Fight Off Adulting Anxiety
1. Embrace it.
For me, this was an important and big step that really made a difference.
Embracing the fact that I am becoming an adult meant I approached this new stage with a more positive outlook. I viewed it as a logical stage that comes with life.
I also had to constantly remind myself that this was something new to me, so feeling anxious about it was normal and part of the process.
My duty is to find measures that can help me effectively navigate the anxiety and enjoy the stage that will likely take up more than 50% of my life.
2. Establish and maintain routines.
Developing daily or weekly routines gives you a sense of control and predictability.
It allows you to be in charge of how your day goes as opposed to feeling like you’re a victim of circumstances or other people’s plans.
As you plan your routine, incorporate regular healthy habits such as exercise, meal planning, or budgeting, which help with physical and mental well-being.
3. Be kind to yourself.
Understand that no one has everything figured out, and it’s okay to make mistakes or learn as you go.
The people you see who appear to have it all figured out did not start where they are now. They all began somewhere and had to learn from mistakes. You will make mistakes or questionable decisions – but that is not the end of the world!
Challenge your negative thoughts by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments.
Practice a lot of positive self-talk and affirmations.
4. Seek support.
Talk to friends, family or someone who makes you feel safe.
Sharing your feelings with trusted people can help you feel less alone in your struggles. In some cases, they might relate to what you are going through and be able to offer some words of wisdom to help you go through the tough days.
Online communities can also be a great way to meet new people who might be experiencing similar anxieties. Connecting with such people can provide you with solidarity and remind you that you’re not alone.
10 Sweet Apps for Finding Friends & Making Connections
5. Set realistic expectations.
Growing up, 25 was the magic age.
Everyone I knew wanted to have a stable career, a long term partner, a house and even children by the time they reach 25.
There was an unwritten rule that 25 is the prime and everything after that is a downhill.
When I turned 25, I realized how delusional those goals and expectations were. Still in grad school, I found myself without any clear picture of where my career was headed.
I didn’t have a long term partner and certainly no prospects of owning a house anytime soon. I quickly learned that 25 is young and there is still a long life ahead of me.
As you plan your goals, be realistic!
Set achievable goals so you don’t have to deal with constant disappointment which might result in you viewing yourself as a failure. Be patient with yourself and remember that accomplishments take time.
As you work towards your dream, don’t forget to celebrate your small wins along the way.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
We’re often anxious because we don’t see ourselves accomplishing what the next person did.
We fail to realize that we are all running different races. We are coming from different backgrounds and we are headed for different victories.
Remember, your adulting experience is uniquely yours.
You have the power to shape it how you want and it doesn’t have to be similar to the next person’s. You can surely get inspiration from others, but you don’t have to want to be like them entirely.
Because people normally parade their wins, you are prone to thinking that they do not experience any failure. They do, they just don’t let everyone know about them.
Be careful of how you interpret other people’s experiences, especially on social media.
Adulting is not easy but it is definitely fun. Enjoy all the good things it comes with and learn along the way. If you ever find yourself having a hard time coping, don’t be hard on yourself.
We all deserve to create happy adulthoods for ourselves.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
