There are many introverts out there who feel misunderstood. Their quiet nature can be perplexing to plenty of people, especially those who have a more extroverted personality.
The definition of an introvert is someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments. Introverts tend to feel drained after socializing and regain their energy by spending time alone. – Introvert, Dear
Research indicates that the brain of an introvert is slightly different than the brain of an extrovert. They’re wired differently.
An extrovert will seek to socialize more when their brain gets a dopamine (feel good chemical) boost. They tend to enjoy the whole social experience, boosting their dopamine levels. That boost makes them want to socialize even more.
An introvert doesn’t necessarily get that same dopamine boost when socializing. In fact, social situations may actually over-stimulate them, causing them to feel anxious.
Introverts tend to rely on the neurotransmitter acetylcholine more than the extrovert. This chemical, when produced, tends to cause an introvert to desire to enjoy peace and quiet, and go within. This is something that makes them feel good.
It’s hard to tell exactly what percentage of the population are introverts. The Johns Hopkins Newsletter claims that 25-35% of the population are, while Very Well Mind says it’s more like 25-40%.
As an introvert myself, knowing that others can allow me to simply be the quiet, not-too-social soul that I am without judgment goes a long way.
The following are various things introverts would like others to know about them.
7 Things Introverts Want You to Know
1. I really do like people.
A lot of introverts get accused of being anti-social or not liking people.
This isn’t true.
While there may be some people who fall into those categories, that’s not indicative of being an introvert. That may be more of a preference or perhaps they’re dealing with life situations that have caused them to fear people.
Introverts enjoy people and friendships, but they prefer them in small numbers and doses. They’d rather enjoy conversation with one or two people than hang out in large groups. Many introverts have a smaller social circle, often due to valuing deeper connection than more surface-level relationships.
2. I get energy by being quiet.
Whereas an extrovert may become energized by engaging with others, an introvert finds energy by enjoying quiet time by themselves. They may enjoy reading, watching movies, being out in nature, or simply sitting on their deck enjoying the view.
Silence and solitude fill them up, so they try to get as much as they can.
3. I’d rather observe than lead.
Many introverts would rather be the observer, rather than feel like they have to lead the conversation or group. It’s not that they can’t be amazing leaders, because they can.
They just really enjoy sitting back, thinking and observing, chiming in when they feel the need to. If they feel like they have to lead, it can cause them some anxiety.
4. I’m not lazy.
Plenty of introverts get accused of being lazy, because it seems like they’re constantly turning down invites in favor of staying home.
But many introverts just don’t like to engage in social functions. When asked to go do things with acquaintances or friends, often the answer is no. This can be taken personally when the intention is misunderstood, and some may point their fingers and call them lazy.
Remember that many introverts just prefer to be home much of the time. It’s where they feel their best. It’s a preference, and plenty of them are quite busy at home.
5. Committing to social events isn’t always easy.
Speaking for myself as an introvert, it’s tough for me to commit to a social event.
There have been plenty of times I’ll say “yes”, but then I’ll start experiencing anxiety as soon as I think about the outing. I’ll go back and forth as to whether I really want to go or not. I envision all the people, noise, chaos, etc. and want to cancel.
Through the years, I’ve learned to give myself permission to say, “I’ll think about it and let you know”, rather than just agree up front. I may wait until the day before or the day of the event to decide. I also give myself permission to cancel if I truly need to practice self-care.
6. I feel plenty of feelings.
I’m sure I’m not the only introvert that gets flack from some people about not “feeling” or expressing my feelings in the passionate way many extroverts do.
I may not be the one hootin’ and hollerin’ at events, but that doesn’t mean I’m not excited to be there. I just may not express my feelings in the same way as an extrovert.
Introverts indeed feel quite deeply. They just may not prefer to share their emotions openly.
7. I am fine.
Silence is awkward for many people. Introverts get asked, “Are you ok?” all the time.
The reason? They tend to be more thoughtful and quiet.
Those who don’t understand introverts or feel uncomfortable around silence tend to think something’s wrong. Plenty of introverts spend time in their mind thinking about all sorts of things.
In my experience, I may be quiet on the outside, but I’m paying very close attention to what’s happening around me.
So, if we’re quiet, it’s not always because we’re upset, bored, angry, depressed, etc. We’re likely just fine.
Are You an Introvert?
With almost half of the population considered introverts, it’s essential that we learn as much as we can about introversion! This way, there will be less judging and more acceptance.
- Do you consider yourself an introvert?
- If so, what would you like others to know about you?
- What would you add to this list?
Editor’s note: This article was originally published Mar 11, 2021 and has been updated to improve reader experience.
Photo by Martin Péchy
