For so many people, starting a conversation can be a daunting task.
But when you struggle with social anxiety, it can feel like scaling a mountain without any gear — talk about feeling ill-prepared. Yet, this article is here to help you do exactly that: Prepare for social situations where you might not know exactly how to break the ice.
Whether you’re at a networking event, a party, or even just in the break room at work, these conversation starters will help you break the ice and begin a genuine connection with those around you.
So, let’s dig in!
10 Social Anxiety Hacks to Help You Start a Conversation
1. Make a Genuine (But Specific) Compliment.
Starting a conversation can stop most of us in our tracks, especially if we become overly anxious in social situations.
Yet, it’s not impossible. And sometimes, it really is about getting one foot in the door. For instance, making a simple but genuine compliment can be a great way to break the ice.
The key is that it has to be genuine. For instance, genuine compliments usually involve specificity and maybe even a reason why (meaning you’ve thought about it). Try it out!
Love that girl’s dress? Tell her and specifically state what you love. (The color, the fabric, etc.)
2. Ask an Open-Ended Question.
Open-ended questions are great ways to get people chatting and elaborating without getting into simple “yes” or “no” answers. A few examples include:
- How do you know _____?
- What brought you here today?
- What do you love about _______?
- How did you discover your current hobby?
- Can you tell me more about what you do for a living?
- Have you traveled anywhere interesting lately?
- What’s your favorite way to unwind after a busy week?
3. Make a Comment About Your Immediate Surroundings.
This brings the conversation toward a shared experience, which can foster bonding and connection.
Whether it’s the food, weather, or decor, share a positive comment to start a light conversation with zero commitment.
4. Default to “FORD.”
FORD stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams.
This is a great go-to when you’re pulling up blanks in your mind for how to get talking. It can also help you dive deeper with people you already know, helping bring you closer to your friends, family, and loved ones.
5. Ask for Recommendations or Help.
- Looking for a new movie to watch?
- Hunting for the next best thriller read?
- Or maybe you’re thinking a documentary would be nice to watch the following night?
Ask someone nearby! This can be great for starting a conversation since it opens the doors to further questions and inquiries.
Alternatively, you can also ask for help. For example, you can strike up a conversation with your pottery partner by asking how they made their bowls or mugs so flawless! Find what works for your situation and try this.
Related Article: Struggling With Social Anxiety? You’re Not Alone. 5 Tips to Help You
6. Make a Light Joke.
This can be a tough one for most, but if you have a good sense of humor, it can also break through any initial awkwardness you may feel.
Inevitably, it may depend on the situation and/or vibes. But if it feels right, try it!
7. Start With Small Talk.
You might quickly think that you hate small talk (as most of us do!).
However, small talk is a great way to start off a conversation before digging a bit deeper. And it doesn’t mean the conversation has to stay at this level. Rather, it’s a way to feel out a person and get comfortable before navigating potentially more controversial or touchy topics.
8. Use Your Body Language to Approach.
A smile can go a long way!
If you’re hiding out in the corner with your arms crossed, it’s unlikely the opportunity will arise to start a conversation. Instead, assume an open posture.
- Watch your body language.
- Smile when you catch someone’s eye.
This can go a long way and open the door to starting a conversation without saying a single word!
Related Article: Can Improving Your Body Language Reading Skills Help Lower Your Social Anxiety Stress?
9. Refer to a Recent Event.
While we don’t want to touch on anything too controversial, talking about a recent event creates common ground and can offer a way to connect with others you might not know too well.
Steer clear from politics or war. Instead, maybe chat about recent festivals or other positive news you’ve heard recently.
10. Share a Short and Recent Story.
Had tons of hurdles making your way toward this specific event?
Share it. Or if a story pops into your mind, tell it. It doesn’t have to be long, but it offers up a bit of vulnerability and can open up the doors to a conversation. It also might just be enough for the other person to share a similar story of theirs!
Turning Anxiety into Authentic Conversations
It’s entirely possible! And yes, it can be nerve-wracking.
However, it can be helpful to know that everyone is probably a little nervous when talking to someone for the first time. Try the above tricks the next time you find yourself in a social situation.
Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet your next BFF or partner by using the conversation starters listed in this article!
Read Next: Are You Struggling With Social Anxiety? How to Identify & Helpful Ways to Overcome
Editor’s note: This article was originally published Sep 6, 2023 and had been updated to improve reader experience.
Photo by HONG SON
